Hardest season

I want to thank you all for supporting my family during the most difficult season of our lives.  

On July 20, 2018 my brother, Tim passed away.  This occurred 3 weeks after he was found collapsed in his front yard followed by 3 weeks of being in a coma.  He was only 46 and left a wife and 3 girls.

Tim was an amazing father, brother, son, and friend.  He dedicated his life to God, then to his family, then to his community. As you can see from the pictures I've posted, our family is extremely close and I've always considered that closeness to be a huge blessing.  But with closeness comes risk.  Our family now has to learn how to continue life here on earth without a big part of our family.  

  

I know many of you have expressed a wish to help and for that, I'm extremely thankful.  But, the best thing you can do for us is pray.  Pray for us as we experience our first Thanksgiving without Tim; our first Christmas, our first everything without him. Also, mainly, please pray for my sister-in-law who has loss the best teammate one could have.  She is now having to learn how to live life and raise 3 girls on her own.  She is extremely strong and I have been inspired by her faith but even the strongest of warriors will have bad days.  So, please pray for her and my nieces as they have been the most effected by this loss. 

Above are my 3 nieces and 2 nephews.  As part of my brother's funeral, we offered for people to donate into my nieces' education fund instead of flowers (if they preferred).  

So, if you would like to donate, please email me.    

Growing

This sudden loss has rocked me to the core.  Everything I said I believed in was challenged and I had to examine my faith. Strong emotions didn't help clear up what's true and what wasn't.  For the first month, all I could pray was "God, get us through this". Other than that, I couldn't talk to God at all.  I couldn't read the Bible or trust anything I believed; especially in regards to prayer. But, I decided to commit myself to studying God's word to find out what it reallysaid about prayer. Upon examining the Bible, I realized that prayer isn't something we use to ask God for things.  It's seeking His heart and His understanding.  IF we are to ask for anything, it's base on HIS desires....not ours. And prayer isn't a tool to seek God's hand but to seek His heart.  God just wants us to get closer to Him.  Even though I knew this in theory, it became more real to me.  I had allowed my prayer life to be more based on seeking His hand than just spending time in His presence.  

I wish I could say I have gotten over everything and don't have any more doubts but that would be lying.  I'm still working through this whole situation and am trying not to allow my grief blur what's true.  I do believe that if we choose Him, He will strengthen our faith and our relationship with Him; but it will require everything of us because with grief, faith can disappear.  Everyday is different.  Some days, I can be at peace that Tim is seeing God face to face right now.  Some days, all I can do is cry and ask God "why?".  So, everyday, I have to choose not to be overwhelmed with loosing my only brother. I have to choose not to let my emotions tell me what's true.  Everyday, I have to choose the hard path....believe God in what He says is true.

At least we have a LOT of good memories to hold on to. 

What's Next?

I am still on track to pioneer a YWAM training base in Alabama.  I'm still expecting this to take several years to attain but I am doing what I can to get to this goal.  

To prepare for this, I have to get trained in all departments needed to run a training base.  I have already been trained/worked in Admissions and staffing the DTS (one of our schools).  This upcoming quarter, I will be working in Personnel.  This includes scheduling all of the staff, Monday-Friday.  This is a big job because there are 50 staff, 5 working days, and 4 different slots each day to schedule.  All of that to say...it's a full-on job!  We also are in charge of everyone's vacation requests, talking to staff who are not working according to our guideline, etc.  It's a constant job and I love it!!!!! It's like a constant jigsaw puzzle and it keeps me active.  

Next year, January-March, I hope to take a Bible Core Course.  This is an intensive Bible course.  It's similar to squeezing a year of seminary into 3 months. I believe this course will help me find a lot of answers I've had during this grieving time. This will only depend on raising enough finances for it.  Luckily, thanks to my Mom's training, I've been saving up for it and won't need to raise too much.  The course is $3800 but I only need to raise $1000. 

After March, I'm not sure what's next.  It will depend on what my base needs.  I'm here to serve the base where they need most help and every quarter is different so I will have to wait.  

Please keep praying for a team to join me in Alabama.  As you can tell, there are a lot of departments that I need to run a base: accounts, school staff, personnel, admissions, IT, worship, etc.  I'm doing what I know to do to get this base started but I have to trust God to do what He only can do.  It's His calling I'm following and it is way bigger than me so it will have to be Him who makes it happen.  So please pray for a team.  Thank you!!

I am blessed to have you in my life.  People who are willing to walk this journey with me...through the good times and the hard times.  Thank you all for your support!

Prayer points

1) My family as we deal with the loss of our loved one

2) Finances needed for the Bible Core Course

3) A team to join me to pioneer a base in Alabama

Some surprise turns

The outreach is over. 

2 months

2 countries

12 students

many adventures

Outreach

The team

Germany

The adventure with God began 1 week before we left for outreach.  I had everything planned out and set up to work with refugees in Germany.  Then I got a call.  Our host in Germany said they had plenty of volunteers and didn't need us.  They asked if we could go to one of their contacts 2 hours away.  So, there goes my plans!  To make things even more exciting, our new contact didn't speak English.   So, here we go!

We arrived at the YMCA in Reichenbach, Germany at midnight.  I was happy to see our contact standing there to greet us (since speaking with him proved be.....uh.....interesting).  We stayed at the YMCA during our whole time there.  After resting for 2 day, we helped with a 3-day kids camp where my team were the main counselors.  This presented an interesting experience since none of the 35 kids spoke English and all but one of my team didn't speak German.  Most of these kids came from either abusive or single-parent homes and they weren't Christian. 

One of my girls doing crafts

Somehow, by the end, those kids were impacted and we began to here testimonies from our host and the parents of how they changed.  The kids heard the Gospel and experienced God's love.  

After the camp, we began to engaged a lot with the local churches and ministered to their young people groups.  It's not what we had planned, but according to our host, our team helped open several doors to ministries for him and others.  

We did a LOT of dramas in churches

My team kept me busy with many injuries (8 trips to the hospital total)

Tallest brick bridge in the world 

Indonesia

After 3 weeks of Germany and some amazing food, we headed to my old home, Bali.  For 4 weeks, we worked with my old base doing ministries from prison to soccer to kids' education.  

Teaching kids from the slums through crafts

Most of my team have never traveled outside of the States/Canada so Bali was quite the culture shock.  Going from the cold nature of Germany to the warm nature of Indonesia was good for them.  Bali also is highly Hindu so there are temples, offerings, and idols everywhere.  These students got to experience God's heart for all cultures....no matter how different they are.  

One day, we took a whole orphanage to the beach and played with them

Testimony

Sophie, a New Zealander, is a 19-year old girl on my team.  God saved her last year from a suicide attempt and changed her life.  She had always struggled with feeling valued.  Throughout the outreach, she would isolate herself from the team and often withdraw into herself.  One day, in Germany, our team was praying and God told me that she was to give the next sermon.  When I told her, she looked shocked and said that God had told her the same thing but she didn't want to believe it :)

A few weeks later, when in Bali, that opportunity came.  She gave the sermon at a church we attended.  Before giving the sermon, Sophie said she felt that her sermon was for someone specific.  Once she finished giving her sermon, one of the other girls on our team came to her and said "Sophie, I feel like God wants you to know that the sermon you just gave was for you".  Upon hearing this, a major breakthrough came and she could see, for the first time in her life, value inside herself.  

After this happened, Sophie changed.  Her countenance changed, she began engaging with the group and in prayer, etc.  It was amazing!  THIS is why I do what I do......to see people's lives change.  

Back home

It's been 2 weeks since the students graduated and left.  Since then, I've been home to celebrate my Mom's 70 (uh.......55) birthday :).  I've also been processing a lot with God.  Even though I got to see God change the lives of a few students, the outreach (as a whole) was very difficult and took a huge tole on me.  So, I'm taking these next few weeks processing and praying while serving here at the Denver base. 

What's next

Our new training term is beginning in 3 weeks.  God surprised me in Bali and told me to take one of secondary schools called the WISE school.  WISE stands for "Worship, Intercession, Spiritual Warfare, and Evangelism".  I feel these are areas God wants to grow me and use me in.  So! For the next 3 months, I will be a student preparing for the calling on my life.  

In addition to the WISE school, God has also confirmed that I should begin preparations to take the BCC (Bible Core Course) next January.  The BCC is an intense 3-month Bible school focused on the inductive Bible study method.  It's like squeezing a year of seminary into 3 months.  

This will depend on if I can raise enough funds for this school (the school is $3700).  The reason to take the BCC is mainly for the YWAM base I want to start in Huntsville, AL.   I believe every Christian needs a firm foundation in the Bible therefore I want to offer the BCC at my base in order to do this.  The BCC is a secondary course which means one has to successfully complete a DTS (Discipleship Training School) before they can take a BCC.  I try to avoid asking for extra finances too many times, but this will be one of those times I will need to do some extra fundraising.  

Prayer points

1) That I will be able to raise $3700 by next January

2) That I will continue developing relationships for the future base

3) That I will be a blessing to my supporters

Fun Stuff

Teaching our guys how to braid

Best food in the world!!!!

The Berlin Wall

This was in a public toilet in the Bali airport.....best advice ever

Greetings from Denver, Colorado!!

It's been 3 months since my last update (ok! 4) and a LOT has happened.  

Christmas

First, I got to spend Christmas with my WHOLE family!  My sister and her fam was back from out of country and we were all together!!!  This hasn't happened in 4 years and won't happen again for another few years.....so I consider that my greatest Christmas gift.  

My sister and I revived an old tradition we started when teenagers......risking our lives for celebration of lights for Christmas!! One day, we WILL be like Clark Griswald!!!

Things that happened 

During this busy time of my life, I got to celebrate another birthday.  My siblings surprised with the most beautiful set of flowers!!!! Thank you Andrea, Tim, and Rebecca!!!

Also during this lecture phase, I got to experience an actual winter!!! Apparently people don't consider this walking weather.....I beg to differ

DTS

Lecture phase

Upon returning to YWAM Denver, I hit the ground running and haven't stopped.  

Since January, I have been staffing the DTS (Discipleship Training School). This program is for anyone who wants to spend 5 months diving into the Bible and getting intimate with God.  It's 3 months of lecture phase, 2 months of outreach.  On top of staffing the school, I am also leading one of the outreaches (see below)

Lecture phase (11 different topics, 11 different teachers)

Every YWAM base has different focuses of DTS (to cater to different types of people).   This base, being in Colorado, has both a music-focused and a snow boarders-focus DTS.  Our school was about 20 students....half of them being boarders (which, may I say, is an interesting bunch of kids; interesting but awesome!)

Testimonies

Boring to fun

He grew up in a very conservative church that didn't have much worship and the reading of the Bible was quite boring.  We took the class to a Heidi Baker conference. The worship looked like a rock concert where people were dancing and jumping and well, just having a LOT of fun.  Upon leaving the conference, in the van, this student said "I never knew worshiping God could be so much fun".  At this, another student commented "yeah, I always thought Christians were boring.....I don't any more".  

Tongues

If you don't believe in speaking in tongues, this might make you "ugh?"

Most of our students were never taught about the Holy Spirit, the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and spiritual warfare.  Therefore, most of our students have never spoken in tongues.  2 weeks ago, the week's topic was "Holy Spirit".   Often, several of the students would go to the prayer chapel on their own and worship God together. During this week, one by one, 8 of the students received the gift of tongues.  Talk about breakthrough!  Us staff weren't even there! The students who had the gift just prayed for those who didn't have it and BOOM! God moved.  This is one of our main goals in DTS.  Not speaking in tongues, but to teach the students to take initiative in their relationship with God.  

Self hatred

I was given 3 of the girl students to mentor throughout this lecture phase.  That means I meet with them once a week, help them process through their questions, and intercede for them.  One of those girls was so bound by self hatred, it was impossible for her to receive truth about herself.  Most of her life, things like "you're evil" and "you're stupid" was spoken over her.  However, she was hungry for God and did what she could to pursue Him.  It didn't happen all at once but little by little God began to give her revelations about His character and her identity.  Through her pursuit, prayers, and God's revelations, she is now beginning to realize the lies that have bound her for so long and little by little, she is beginning to walk in freedom from the self-hatred that has bound her mind for so long.

Outreach

It's now the last week of lecture phase.  The 20 students have been divided into 2 groups.  1 group will be going to Mexico and Jamaica to work with communities to get clean water and the other group (my group) will be going to Germany to work with the refugee crisis and 

Indonesia (my old home) to work with the unreached and poor.   

Here's my team.  The assistant is the girl at the far right.  

Here is a look at the changes ahead of us

Food

from this

to this

Arabic food

German food

To this

Indonesian food

Leg room

from this

to this

People/dress

from this

to this

to this

Places of worship

from this

to this

to this

Outreach

Most of these students have never been to a third world country, let alone, working with Muslim and Hindu communities. 

The whole purpose of this outreach is to give the students a chance to put all they have learned about God's character into practice.  Also, to show that God is in every culture and can be known by every nation.  

DTS outreaches are never easy.  You see things that wreck your worldview and challenge your faith.  But, by the end, you have God's heart for the lost and understand that it's not about the right theology, or the right form of worship.  It's about God's heart for people.  His heart to see all nations having a relationship with Him.  It about God's call for HIS people to bring the kingdom of God to earth. Why do so many not know the God of the universe?  It's because we don't tell them.  We don't show them. We don't live it.  

First it starts with a friendship with God.  To understand His character behind His commands.....not JUST the commands.  To understand what it means to "Love God with all your heart" and to "Love your neighbor as yourself".  Also to "seek FIRST the kingdom of heaven, then all these things will be added to you".  

It's all about God first, then others. 

Church, let's pick up our cross once again and follow Him the way HE wants, not the way WE want.  

End of sermon, now it's time for the offering 

:)

If you would like to meet my team, follow this link to the video. 

https://www.facebook.com/ywamdenver/videos/1670897266328973/

Fun stuff

My roommate had this "star bucks" cup from Palestine. 

 Imitation is a form of flattery, right?

Wise words from the insurance office.  

The End of the Beginning

Everyone else was in t-shirts.....I was freezing! I still have Bali blood in me

The last 3 months

To join staff at YWAM Denver, you have to take a 3-month staff training course called School of Ministry Development School (SOMD).  This is what I've been doing these last 3 months.


Personal Testimony
The SOMD is made up of 13 weeks, each week covering a different topic.  The week that impacted me the most was the Fund-raising week.  It was this week that God showed me that my faith has been too little....that I wasn't trusting Him to be big enough to know, understand, and provide for every need; now and to come.  It can be scary asking people to support me because I don't want them to feel that I'm only seeing them in terms of how much they can give me.  I know too many people who have been hurt by this (me being one of them) and I don't ever want someone to feel like that from me.

 God reminded me that it's never about the money....it's always about the relationship.  He also reminded me that He values responsibility, planning, and faith.  The question is where is the balance? Too often, we lean too far one way or another.   It's easy for me to operate out of only responsibility and planning.  But God challenged me to trust Him for every penny I have and every penny I will need.  He knows and He will provide.  My job is to trust Him and honor Him with His provisions.

I have now completed the SOMD and ready to be full-time staff here at YWAM Denver.
So! What's next?


The next 6 months


Many of you know that YWAM offers a training program called Discipleship Training School (DTS).  This is an opportunity for people to take 5 months to dive into God's character and learned to live a crazy adventure with God.  People who take this program get ruined for the ordinary.  They learn that they can hear God for themselves, that He is more gracious than we think, and if we let Him, that He is a God that works outside the box.  Young peoples' lives get changed.


The program consists of 11 weeks of lecture phase (in which the students live on base and be a part of the community) and then 8 weeks of outreach (in which they experience other cultures and get God's heart for all nations).


I have the opportunity to staff the next DTS (January - May).  Once the lecture phase is complete, I then get a chance to lead a group of these young people to work with refugees in Germany then to Bali (my old stomping grounds) to work with the unreached.  I get 5 months to invest into these young lives.  THIS is why I do what I do....to change the nations by changing the individual.  My heart is to see each of them know God in ways they never thought.  That they finish with a deeper understanding of God and how to live HIS character in this world.
As of now, there will be 25 students in this school.



If you want to know more about the base I work on, visit their website:
https://www.ywamdenver.org

DTS is a key component with YWAM.  Everything else stems from our DTS's.  Even though I've been a part of YWAM for 9 years, I have never staffed a full DTS.  So, the next 5 months is important in my preparation for pioneering a base in the South.  I have to know how a full DTS is ran before I can start a base.




Prayer points

1) Wisdom for guiding the DTS students for the next 5 months

2) Living situation: our lease is up next April and we don't have enough girls to renew the lease.  At the moment, I don't have a place to live.  To make it even more interesting, I'll be gone on outreach during April so when I get back, I will need a place to return to

3) That God will prepare people to join me for pioneering a base in the South.

 From hot and humid to 

cold and not humid

It was this day, 11 months ago, that God rocked my world.  There I was, living in Indonesia, ready to serve God there for the rest of my life. 

Then BOOM! God throws a curve ball to me.  

"I want you to go back to America and start a new YWAM base among your own people.....the South".  

I would say I was completely surprised but to be honest, God had been dropping hints to me for the last 2 years that something of this magnitude was coming.  I just didn't expect it to be THIS big.  Pioneer a new base?? ME?? 

YWAM is a training ministry.  We train people with Biblical values in order for them to take the Gospel to all the world....no matter what country, sphere of society, or people group. We train.  Therefor we operate similar to university campus.  We have dorms for students, apartments for staff, classrooms, dining hall, administration offices, etc.  And God wants me to start one....AAHHH!!!  

So, what now?  

First:  take a training course in Perth......done

Second:  join an existing base in America to learn the in's and out's of leading an American base (legal requirements, admissions for students, website, etc).  

Third: get a team to join me

Fourth: be commissioned by the base I'm trained at, go and pioneer a new base (while being covered by the sending base)

The step I'm at is #2

I've joined the YWAM base in Denver, Colorado.  This is a strong base with strong leadership.  They are wise and experienced in pioneering bases.  

This past June, I moved home from Indonesia.  After spending time with family, I started making my way across country (first time) to my new home.  

I just happen to be in Knoxville, TN visiting my brother's family when the total eclipse went over.  I got to see the full thing. Apparently, your shadow's edges become extra clear during this event.  

On I went.  It was a good trip until........KANSAS!!!! If you never driven through the entire state of Kansas, let me explain.  The road becomes very straight and very flat.  You think "oh good! easy traveling!".    Then, after about 1 hour,  you start seeing these wind thingys.  Again you think "wow!!! so many!! how beautiful!!! this should be cool!"

8----EIGHT hours later, all you're thinking is "dear God, help me!!!"

After 3 days of driving, I see this glorious site!!! DENVER!

 

I join YWAM Denver

This is what the base looks like......beautiful!

 

Not too long after I arrive, I see this.....what is it again?  uuuhhhh.....

In October?????

Us Southerners never heard such a thang

I think I dealt with the cold weather well.....don't you think??  

The last 8 years has been spent with high humidity and high temperatures, with little air conditioning.  I forgot what it felt like to NOT sweat. My Bali blood don't know what to do with this

  At the moment, I'm half student, half staff.  

For people who want to join staff here, they are asked to go through this 3 month course called School of Ministry Development.  Here, I'm a student. 

But, because I've already taken many schools like this and they have a high need for someone to help in Admissions, they are letting me audit the course and spend my other half of the time working in Admissions.  

This means I process all applications for future schools.  I contact them, pray for them, answer question, organize their arrivals, and send vise letters for foreign students.  I love this job because I get to have an impact on every student that comes to us.  Meaning, I impact up to 6 different nations and up to 30 students every 3 months.  So, in 1 year, I have impacted 24 nations and 120 people every year (not including staff). 

Which means for those who support me, YOU impact 24 nations and 120 people every year.  

 

Being a student means I'm in a small group. This is my small group of amazing girls!  

As a base, we worship and do intercession over the nations 3 times/week

I'm also involved in helping with the prayer/prophetic ministries.  I've already organized 2 prophetic nights (in which people can come and get a prophetic word of encouragement) and I've taught a prophetic workshop where I teach people Biblical principles about the prophetic gifting and then have them practice it in a safe space. 

A sunset from my balcony

And who wouldn't want to end with this???

Brisket!!!

Prayer points:

1) a team to join me
2) I'm going to a gathering of all East Coast bases next week.  This could be my only chance to meet all the base leaders.....which is important because I'll be pioneering a base near them.  I need divine appointments.
3) Continue financial support.  With a base in my future, the needs are increasing.  Also, living in Denver is A LOT more expensive than living in Bali.

Praise

1) Even though I do still have a need, I HAVE seen an increase in my monthly support.....so thank you everyone who has joined me in this new adventure!
2) I am learning more than I thought I would quicker than I expected.
3) I have quickly found my place on this new base.  I am already making good friends and I get many chances to speak into the younger lives here on base.  I'm loving it!!!